NORTH POLE INVESTIGATIONS | HOLIDAY DIVISION
THE USUAL SUSPECTS
Five elves. Five questionable alibis. Examine the North Pole case files.
SNIFFLES
CASE FILE 01 / STATUS OPEN
EVIDENCE PHOTO / FILE 289
Left a trail of tissues from the workshop to the getaway sleigh. Remembered to wipe away the tears. Forgot to wipe away the evidence.
The alleged offense
At approximately 11:47 p.m., investigators discovered a trail of tissues leading from the workshop to an unauthorized sleigh departure. Sniffles insists the farewell was entirely innocent. Witnesses question why an innocent farewell required six gift bags and a getaway driver.
Evidence recovered
Fourteen tissues. One sleigh key. A goodbye note with several suspiciously damp revisions.
Case status
Still being questioned. Taking frequent hydration breaks.
The suspect’s statement
“I always cry when I leave work. Usually because I have to come back.”
WANTED: YOU IN THE AUDIENCE.
The Holiday Show
December 18-20, 2026 | Warren Performing Arts Center
Soaring voices. Festive favorites. Holiday joy.
TWINKLE
CASE FILE 02/ STATUS OPEN
EVIDENCE PHOTO / FILE 936
Tried to frame the Christmas tree. Got caught in his own string operation. Now claims he was strung along.
The alleged offense
Investigators found Twinkle wrapped in the very lights reported missing from the workshop. He claims the Christmas tree recruited him for a routine decorating job, then left him hanging. Attempts to untangle his story have only implicated more branches. The tree has declined to comment.
Evidence recovered
Three strings of lights. One missing tree topper. A diagram labeled “Operation Silent Night.”
The suspect’s statement
“I was told there would be no strings attached. Clearly, someone lied.”
Case status
Cooperating with investigators. Still withholding the location of the other end of the cord.
WANTED: YOU IN THE AUDIENCE.
The Holiday Show
December 18-20, 2026 | Warren Performing Arts Center
Soaring voices. Festive favorites. Holiday joy.
GRUMBLES
CASE FILE 03 / STATUS OPEN
EVIDENCE PHOTO / FILE 671
Knows where the presents are buried and which names were quietly moved to the nice list. Still furious theirs wasn’t one of them.
The alleged offense
An anonymous tip led investigators to a stash of presents beneath the workshop floorboards. Grumbles knew the exact location, the contents of every box, and who approved the overtime. They insist they’re merely a disgruntled employee. Detectives note that most employees don’t bring annotated naughty lists to their exit interviews.
Evidence recovered
One marked-up naughty list. A workshop floor plan. A denied request for nice-list reconsideration.
The suspect’s statement
“I’m not naming names until someone explains how Tipsy made the nice list.”
Case status
Negotiating immunity. Wants a written guarantee that this year’s stocking contains no coal.
WANTED: YOU IN THE AUDIENCE.
The Holiday Show
December 18-20, 2026 | Warren Performing Arts Center
Soaring voices. Festive favorites. Holiday joy.
SPARKY
CASE FILE 04 / STATUS OPEN
The alleged offense
At 9:14 p.m., the workshop lost power moments after Sparky announced a “minor lighting improvement.” Investigators found him holding two extension cords beside a smoking fuse box. He maintains the blackout was a scheduled demonstration. Nobody recalls scheduling it, and the demonstration appears to have included disabling the security cameras.
Wanted in connection with a North Pole blackout. Claims the charges won’t stick because nothing was grounded.
EVIDENCE PHOTO / FILE 359
Evidence recovered
Two scorched plugs. One melted fuse. A handwritten note reading “What could go wrong?”
The suspect’s statement
“I’d explain what happened, but I don’t think you understand my current situation.”
Case status
Charges pending. Investigators are checking his connections.
WANTED: YOU IN THE AUDIENCE.
The Holiday Show
December 18-20, 2026 | Warren Performing Arts Center
Soaring voices. Festive favorites. Holiday joy.
TIPSY
CASE FILE 05 / STATUS OPEN
Questioned about the missing rum. Claims the eggnog acted alone.
EVIDENCE PHOTO / FILE 204
The alleged offense
The workshop’s rum supply vanished shortly before the annual holiday toast. Tipsy was discovered beside the punch bowl conducting what he described as “quality control.” His account of the evening contains several generous measures of uncertainty. Investigators are particularly interested in why the recipe calls for one cup of rum and his shopping list calls for twelve bottles.
Evidence recovered
One empty rum bottle. A suspiciously fragrant mug. A recipe with the measurements crossed out.
The suspect’s statement
“I followed the recipe in spirit. Several spirits, actually.”
Case status
Awaiting a clear statement. The punch has been taken into custody.
WANTED: YOU IN THE AUDIENCE.
The Holiday Show
December 18-20, 2026 | Warren Performing Arts Center
Soaring voices. Festive favorites. Holiday joy.